Because of a lot of strife in my home I never learned to be happy. Inadvertedly my parents were raised with good

values and character and that I absorbed by seeing how they lived day by day. While all this was going on I had no

clue, I was just a child growing up. I was an only child so I had to discover life as best I could. God put people in

my life to direct me and guide me, and unfortunately so did the enemy. God gave me intelligence, and the enemy

gave me Drugs.

I had a thirty year relationship with heroin. It started out giving me energy and a rosy outlook on life. While in reality

it was a mess. I was a 22 year old widow with a 2 year old son. I was basically homeless and less and less able to

take care of my son. I took him to my aunt for the weekend and did not return. Without the limitations of parenting

drugs became my life. I had a short prostituting phase. I was not cut out for that career. Then I discovered shoplifting.

I had a mentor and a desire to do this well. I thought I was good at this and soon life seemed to improve. I was no

longer homeless and I allowed myself to believe that I was not the mother type and went on with my life. I spent most

of my young adult life in prison. While inside I would go to school and I received my GED and two AA degrees in

Business and General Studies. Once released I would eventually end up using and stealing and before long I was

back in prison. I did not understand why I seemed to be always busted, I was good. Today I realize God was preparing

me for a better future, and part of that preparation was 8 trips to the penitentiary.

One day while I was in quarantine my last trip, I came to the conclusion that this place is not good enough for me.

I developed a hunger for a better life and did all I could at the time, pray. I ask God to help me. I asked him to forgive

me and to guide me back to the right road. I felt better afterwards but nothing else seemed to happen. Once I got out I

began my last dance with drugs. It was the hardest one ever. I had been delivered from stealing, but I thought I could

go back but I could not. Those last 10 dollars for a bag became more and more difficult to get, I was frantic, I got scared

and a friend suggested I go to treatment. I got in an out-patient program that used methadone and therapy to treat

heroin addiction. I had to make it somehow I felt the door closing on that chapter of my life. I started to develop my

spirituality. I wanted to get closer to God. The more I worked the more help I got. My family came together. My children

began to respect me more and they started to trust me and depend on my support. God cleaned me up and gave me

a voice to encourage other addicts to seek the light out of that lifestyle and seek the life God intended for them.

I am far from a goody two shoes or Holy Roller. I am simply a woman who has allowed God to come into my life and

I have trusted him for every aspect of my life. I am presently attending college to become a certified drug counselor to

share what was so freely given to me. Today I am free I decide my direction but my decisions are based on the

Holy Spirit and its input in my life. I encourage anyone who is seeking a better quality of life to return to the man who

gave you life for direction and trust he will bring you through. Study the word, obey his direction and remain grateful for

your blessings, oh yes you have been blessed and if you trust him he will continue to bless you over and beyond your

wildest dreams.

Diann C. Ousley

Secretary of the Christ Center Life Learning Ministry